Lesson 1

My friend Mark recently posted an article about the Kansas GOP House Speaker "praying" for the Obama children to be fatherless and their mom be widow (see link). Since I am dedicating my blog to passive aggressive racism I think this is a good lesson to begin with. One of the comments on Mark’s link was that the good thing about Obama being elected is that it let us all know who is really a racist.

I laughed so hard at that statement, but found so much truth in it. I remember a time, even during the much hated Clinton administration when the office of the President of the United States was highly respected. Why the change? Why the need to feel like you can speak so freely about the disdain for the President of the free world. I am truly bothered by the ease and comfort and the sense of empowered certain people feel saying these types of things.

This is a prime example of passive aggressive racism. Just say you hate having a black president, it’s almost like people are going out of their way to attack him for all sorts of things. The disclaimer before I go on is that I myself don’t agree with many of his policies although I did vote for the man. But spending time on things like authenticity of a birth certificate, or saying things like “who wants a Harvard law professor as a leader“ just make me think, really? Aren’t most politicians lawyers? Now we have a lawyer leading us who is from one of the most prestigious law schools in the country and all of a sudden it isn’t good enough?

Passive aggressive racism is something we sort of have to laugh at. While it’s horrible and sets us all back a hundred years (really only about 60), I cannot put my head around why people don’t just say what they mean. Say you hate being represented by a black man, say you hate that a black man is married to a strong black woman and they are uber educated and still married and the biological parents of their children, say you can’t stand the fact that their very existence goes against all the things that society tries to perpetuate about people of color… but don’t, especially if you’re a “good Christian with family values” wish death and despair upon any family. That is just evil.

http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2012/01/13/403911/kansas-gop-house-speaker-prays-that-obamas-children-be-fatherless-and-his-wife-a-widow/?mobile=nc

Racism

I had this idea a few years ago after a conversation I had with some friends about the 2008 Presidential elections. It was Obama vs McCain and I was with a group of friends, a mixed group of people, politically from liberal, conservative to one that really never voted ever. One of my friends said, "Obama should win so they realize, finally, they are equal". I was really taken aback by her statement. I assume she meant African Americans by "they" and it was really funny and sort of an oxymoron to me because if you're saying "they" to refer to a group of people then "they" probably aren't seen in the same light anyway.

We all know of course that Obama did win and it was a huge symbolic acheivement, but it didn't change much for the "they" or really any of us that are not the dominant culture that runs shit in America.

I started this blog as a way to vent things and never really have taken advantage of it. As I get older and more set in my ways and much more cynical I look back on conversations like that and hope that I would have gotten more up in arms, but really there comes a point where you are so used to that shit and people that make comments are also equally used to saying stuff like that that they don't even know that it is offensive.

So back to the top, I had this idea for a book and blew it off and opted instead for a blog. The book was going to be titled "Passive Aggressive Racism" (if anyone steals it please list me as your inspiration). It was going to be about those instances in our lives or the lives of people of color that have to try harder or overcome a stereotype just to be seen as equal.

For those of you in that dominant culture I spoke about, not all of you feel or act this way, and I certainly do not keep company with people that make me feel uncomfortable. The reality is it is not just white people that say jacked up things, we all say them and we are all offensive at any given time about various race and ethnic groups and genders and sexual orientations. Having said ALL THAT I am going to start my book via blog and talk about some of those experiences.

I will discuss those instances where I have often had to clarify things and the person saying them didn't use malice or intend to be offensive, hence passive aggressive racism, but the things they said were offensive and sparked disdain and really everyone should know that certain things are in fact offensive.

So from this point on be prepared to be amazed and entertained by the stories you hear here. Some of them are so unbeleivable you have to wonder WHY I haven't been arrested for assault, hell I wonder how I've kept my cool sometimes. But I did and I share all this knowledge, wisdom and experience with you. I also welcome you to email me some of your stories so I can share them to: monicadelarosa77@gmail.com